Pissed Off Pontification – 21st Century “Suckery”

Welcome to a new part of the blog, it’ll be a summer staple.  Thanks to the Coach I can’t use, “What Grinds My Gears,” so how about one a bit more…specific to me?  Pissed Off Pontification!  1000 words or less on what issue rubs me the wrong way.  Will these all be important issues?  Probably not, but will that deter me from getting this stuff off of my chest?  Of course not.  Today’s issue (as given to me by a cousin of mine): People who don’t give head in the 21st Century.

I have written twice on this blog about oral sex, but both times it’s been with the assumption that folks are giving head.  It’s tough for me to figure out the people who don’t, though – especially the sexually active folks.  If you’re not doing anything, then fine.  But the people who are getting it in and proclaim they refuse to give head boggle the mind.  I’ve been hearing about non-headgivers since Chris Rock’s Bigger And Blacker where he referred to women who don’t give head as outdated like a Betamax.  “They still make you?!”

I know one person who has a problem with giving head because of how the rap music makes it seem so degrading.  I told her there’s no positive way to describe getting head.  Try your hardest to think about the last time you got head and find a loving, positive way to describe somebody sucking and licking and all.  It just doesn’t work out to me.

So why don’t people give head nowadays?  They don’t like doing it seems to be the most common answer.  But the ones who don’t like doing it sure do love having it done to them.  If you can’t dish it, you shouldn’t take it.  Or something like that.

Plain and simple, I consider it a form of “fuckery” when I hear, “No, I can’t stand to give head.  It’s so nasty/gross/insert unbecoming adjective here and I don’t want to have anybody’s cum near me” and blah blah blah.  By the way, this comes on both sides of the aisle – I’m not just talking about women, there are plenty of men out here who swear they don’t eat out and never will.  These are always the same people who LOVE getting head and can’t wait for more.  Those are the selfish head-receivers I was talking about, and they need to wake up and smell the roses – it doesn’t matter what century it is now, but if you don’t give head, your partner will find someone else to.  It’s not like it’s raw sewage (unless you’re eating ass.  That’s a beast unto itself and I’m not touching it with a 5 foot pole), it’s a penis and a vagina.  A dick and a pussy.  Whatever you call them, the people who use them for fucking and scoff at even giving head are damn ridiculous if you ask me.  Fuckery having to do with a lack of sucking?  We’ll call it “Suckery,” and if you run across these sucker ass people, ask them why they don’t give head.  Seriously, ask them.  Come back here and tell me what they say or tell me @mrphilosopher3 because I have a feeling most people won’t have many good reasons.