It’s been many, many moons since #IgnantFriday hit the blog. There’s been so much Ignant shit that’s taken place in the months that have passed that I can’t chronicle it all. Here are some of the quickies, in case you missed them:
– At the GOP National Convention, a black CNN camerawoman got peanuts thrown at her, while an attendant yelled, “This is how we feed the animals!” And you wonder why Obamamania keeps running wild, brother…
– To kickoff the college football season, this play by the Kent State Golden Flashes (and the other team) is easily the most IGNANT football play I’ve ever seen in 12 years, since the T.O. TD celebration in Dallas from yesteryear.
– Speaking of football, the sprinklers went off mid-game last Sunday during the Seattle Seahawks at Miami Dolphins affair. Somebody got fired immediately for sleeping on the job, I’m sure.
– The NHL has once again committed ritual hirakiri so that we can respect its memory without remorse.
– Following President Obama’s re-election, there was a riot on Ole Miss’ campus. Yup, the Rebels really ran through the incredibly pro-Obama town of Oxford, MS.
– Bath salts. Nuff said.
– Chris Brown and Rihanna got back together, some 3-4 years after one of the most publicized domestic violence incidents in recent memory. I label them both as #IGNANT, believe this all to be a publicity stunt, and won’t be surprised if they get married in 14 months, divorced in 24 months.
– A woman’s son was racially profiled and cuffed for no reason, for all intents and purposes, other than being Black in the wrong place. Thankfully, he wasn’t wearing a hoodie (anybody got news on Zimmerman?).
– In LA, people voted to have mandatory condoms in porn…and the porn industry got pissed! Safe sex makes sex workers mad, never thought I’d say that.
– A Chinese man sued his wife for being ugly…and won. I can hear people claiming patriarchy, but let’s just wait a moment. If you can sue for not receiving what’s owed to you…nah, let’s just move on before I put myself into the #IGNANT category.
This is but a mere snippet of the Ignance that has roamed the globe since I last stopped documenting the ridiculous shit we do with no problems. But this morning, I had to open the #IgnantFriday files back up, as I was doing my morning news roundup and saw this gem:
“Roach-eating contest winner choked to death.”
Fear Factor has been off TV since before Tyrone Biggums won it on the Chappelle’s Show. The recession isn’t like it was in 2008. Come on man, eating roaches (and worms)? For a motherfucking python? (I can hear Samuel L. Jackson now, “I’m sick of eating these motherfucking worms and these motherfucking roaches to get this motherfucking snake!”) I know we say don’t speak ill of the dead (presumably it’s because they can’t talk back) but I would’ve spoken ill of him to his face and he couldn’t talk back because his airway was obstructed by “bug body parts.”
I know he’s got a family, but who thinks it’s a good idea to consume roaches? Apparently 20-30 other people thought eating roaches and insects for a damn python is an effective use of their time and physical resources. That’s allowed – consume all of these “lower life” organisms to gain possession of another, more expensive and can-kill-you organism…and weed is illegal for recreational use…which brings me to my last piece of #IGNANTSHIT.
Weed is legal in the United States while illegal at the same damn time.
Do you know how confusing that is? Can you imagine visiting from somewhere like the Netherlands and asking a local about where to get some pot and they tell you go to Colorado or Washington? When you say, “but I have glaucoma,” then you have access to another dozen or so states where you can get your pot but only if you have an OK from a doctor but when you ask, “Well great, but is it illegal?” and the local says, “Well it’s federally illegal but in certain states, it’s ok,” you would have a perplexed look on your face. Never has a drug caused so much controversy about its legality while being more commonly accepted. Literally, a FDA officer could arrest someone in Colorado for lighting up but a local cop couldn’t with how things stand. What’s so damn ignant about all of this is that you might as well just legalize it and be done with it. Slippery slope to other “hard drugs” being legalized? Possibly, but we have medical evidence that cocaine, heroin, meth, even bath salts can kill you. Too much alcohol can kill you; alcohol has no medical benefits other than fucking you up, and it’s legal. They warn you that cigarettes can cause cancer and they just give you an addictive buzz, and it’s legal. Free up the future jails by making marijuana possession offenses non-existent, cut off some of the black market by having government owned/backed selling shops (not unlike some states/cities with one type of liquor store that’s government run), or just completely outlaw it nationwide (oh wait, they did that already…) so that this isn’t nearly as confusing as it is. Red tape = #Ignant.
#IgnantFriday is back, and it won’t go anywhere. Finding #IGNANTSHIT? @mrphilosopher3, mrphilosopher3@gmail.com, use the hashtag #IgnantFriday or #IGNANTSHIT
Mr. Philosopher: The Ignant Intellectual 